[DamselFly]

as to the continuum, i've been all over the place as to outer appearances:in the beginning wearing "the uniform" back in the 70s, if y'all remember that: looking as girly as could be, and frequently mistaken for a straight woman (which i HATE), and now somewhere in the middle, i guess, wearing short hair b/c of being a Roshi and jeans around the farm, but dresses or feminine pants and shirts, polished nails, lipstick, etc when i go to town. if i go in my "farmhand attire", i run the risk of being mistaken for a kid, even by other kids, lol.
i do think that femmes get judged both ways by the way they dress, and that there IS a hierarchy from "High femme" being the Queen Bee, so to speak, and "low femme" being seen as an androgyne in hiding, though if you're "High femme", you sometimes get castigated for being "too straight" and "low femme", you're not seen at all.
i really dislike this hierarchy, though i've seen less expectation of it here than on some other sites and some other real time places. to me a femme is a femme, and how she chooses to express herself is her (and if she wishes, her partner's) business. i am no less a femme b/c i am not constantly in dresses w/high heels, my make-up always so, etc. my current lifestyle does not permit that, even if i still wanted it. as i've grown older, i've become more myself and less what i thought the world, even the B/f world, wanted. i am a Roshi, so my hair is very short. because of my modesty code, i wear longer usually free-flowing skirts or dresses, when i'm not in "farmhand attire". because i walk with a cane, heels are no longer an option. i realize that this puts me "out of the radar" of some butches, but then, i wouldn't be accepted as me, even if somehow noticed. i want S/someone who wants me for me! i'm very up-front about who i am! (as if Y/you hadn't noticed that by now, lol.)
my 2 cents.
DamselFly