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LediskoLove99 · 04-26-2011, 11:32 PM

Is it sad that I want an office job just to attempt to do half of this list?

Office work dull? None of your colleagues appreciate your humour?

Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative execution.

ONE-POINT GAGS

Run one lap around the office at top speed

Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle

Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye"

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way"

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINT GAGS

Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that? I don't want to have to repeat it"

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT GAGS

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and utter, "Shut up, darn it, all of you just shut up"!

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade"?

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets.

04-26-2011, 11:32 PM	#6261
LediskoLove99 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Permanently neurotic. Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Michigan Posts: 25 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26 Thanked 100 Times in 19 Posts Rep Power: 380892	Is it sad that I want an office job just to attempt to do half of this list? Office work dull? None of your colleagues appreciate your humour? Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative execution. ONE-POINT GAGS Run one lap around the office at top speed Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye" To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way" Walk sideways to the photocopier. While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. THREE-POINT GAGS Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that? I don't want to have to repeat it" Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle Shout random numbers while someone is counting. FIVE POINT GAGS At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself). Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and utter, "Shut up, darn it, all of you just shut up"! At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again". Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade"? Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it". Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out. Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets. __________________ Me: Fuck spellcheck! Sarah: Should I take it out to dinner first? Me: That would only be proper.