[PumaJ]

I'm High Femme and very, very girlie in many ways, though I'm not a "princess". I know how to use power tools, for example, and have used them when necessary. I'm definitely a feminist & am not into any of the "I can't do such & such because I'm the Femme, or 'you' have to do such & such because you are the Butch/Stud/Boi". Blech on that, though, in the bedroom 'roles' do get a bit more defined;-)

I suppose that in some ways the fact that I am a lesbian has been invisible to some people. The fact that my being a High Femme lesbian has never been invisible to Butches/Studs/Bois is all that matters to me. In regard to other styles of lesbians, they either get it, or not. I really don't care.

I did find the early years of Second Wave feminism to be difficult for me. Even though I did my best to wear the 'uniform" I could never quite give up the mascara and lip stick. That was an issue for some. A few years ago, I used to attend a monthly Sunday brunch for Jewish lesbians in my neck of the woods. I was always the most glam lesbian in the group. At first some of the other women looked a bit askance at me, but over time they got over it. I figured I presented an opportunity for them to put their money where their mouths were, so to speak, in regard to their professed feminism, i.e. they really did get it about one being a woman identified woman, or they didn't. In other words, those that had some issues with my way of being got to learn that High Femme has absolutely zero to do with the dominant culture's rules regarding the feminine and females. Fortunately for the group only a few of the members had to stretch & grow in that area. Everyone else was very chill.