Quote:
"Clothes really matter to me. I'm an unrepentant Dandy.
Clothes help me to define myself & who I am in the world. Whether we like it or not, our clothing signals to others certain things about who we are." ~ Jomore
|
Jomore, hooray for your being an "unrepentant Dandy":-) I tend to agree with your statement regarding clothing serves as a way to communicate certain things about ourselves to others, if for no other reason than that is what the dominant culture & media teaches us about our clothes.
In my view, clothes do not determine gender, though certainly clothes are often used as a way to give a visual representation of one's gender. The style of that representation is really a matter of personal preference. Using myself as an example, I am a very "girly" Femme, a High Femme. Sometimes, I really amp it up, especially if I'm going out to some sort of social event. The style I choose to rock depends on the event. Even on an average day, when I am dressed "down" in T-shirt & pants, if I am going out to do anything at all, anything, even grocery shopping, on goes some makeup & jewelry bling, because that is what feels good to me. Now, if I am staying home & chillin' well...different story. Once, when going out to a party, I borrowed a shirt & tie from my partner at the time & put them on with a pair of my Levis. Did I look like a Butch? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... no way in h..ll! Everyone loved my "high fashion" statement though & thought I looked quite fly.
Once a long time ago, not long after I'd become lovers with a most handsome Butch, I noticed that sometimes she wore women's undies & sometimes even some mascara. "Hmm," I thought, "what's up with that?" So, I very gently asked her about it. I said something like, "Honey, are you more comfortable wearing women's undies & puttin' on mascara?"
To which she answered that no, she wasn't, not really. I asked, "Oh? So why do you then?"
Her answer was that her ex. thought it was weird that she wanted to wear men's briefs & no makeup because she "is a woman after all".
"Oh, really?" I said. Well, my lover was probably an 81/2 or 9 on the masculine of center spectrum & that girly stuff just didn't feel or look right to me. So, I said, "Honey, no offense, but you know you kind of look like you're in drag when you wear women's undies & mascara."
"Really? You think so? Kind of feels that way to me. Won't it bother you if I wear men's briefs?"
"Honey, I suspect that given that you are so Butch, what feels comfortable
most likely includes men's briefs, shirts, pants, socks, jackets, coats, hats...and the like. So, of course, you get to wear any & all of that. Plus, honestly, that is part of what makes me weak in the knees over Butches."
Tears...there were tears in her eyes. She just looked at me then said, "You get it, don't you? You really get it & you like it."
"Yes, darlin', I get it & I most definitely like it."
We are who we are. Clothes do not determine that. Some of us may pay more attention to what we put on in terms of specific style or fashion & really get into using our clothes to express aspects of ourselves, & to look fly, but some of us don't. Either way, we are who we are as women who are masculine of center or femme of center.
BTW, Jomore, my panties haven't been put in a twist by the manner in which you have expressed yourself because 1) I totally grokked what you were saying, 2) I didn't perceive any animosity in your words, & 3) I've learned that many times it is easy to misinterpret what others write in net land when all we have is text to express ourselves & not all of us are fab wordsmiths.
