[lillith]

Firstly, congratulations to everyone who has quit whether it has been a hour or 10 years.
Gaea – I totally get what you mean about dealing with emotions. The first two months were the most shit-tastic experience of my life. Having a dry birth was less hard than this. I think that it is too important to do this to feel like you have to do it alone. I will pm you my number, and you can text or call if you want.
Ms. Meander – East some of that chocolate, girl! You deserve it! Congratulations!

My Story:
Smoking was my last great vice, and I smoked for 20 years. About 3 months ago, I developed pneumonia, and was out for about a week. During the course of the week, I slept and didn't really wake up to eat or use the restroom, much less smoke. When I was finally awake enough, I decided it was time to quit. I am the kind of person that if you take away my addiction, then it will be worse than what it needs to be. I kept a pack of cigarettes on my nightstand, and gave myself permission to smoke only if I need to. After the week of not smoking, I pulled on out of the pack, and left it on my nightstand with the same permission as above. It stayed there for two weeks, and I threw it away. Don’t get me wrong, I know I was lucky because I got to sleep through the worst part of the physical addiction, but I was in the middle of my last semester, in an unhealthy relationship, and having to fight with a professor who was trying to bully me into quitting. I never in my life wanted to say fuck it, gimme a smoke. Everyday for about a month I wished I had a cigarette. The toughest part, I think, is living with people who still smoke. The smell sits in my mouth like some explosive chemical reaction, and leaves my tongue feeling rough and abrasive against my soft palate. And so, three months later, I still want to smoke. I don’t think that feeling will ever go away completely, but I know that today is easier than yesterday and tomorrow will be easier than today.