[christie]

Bit -

I struggled for the majority of my life with feeling feminine. Its not hard to see the conundrum when you look at what society called "pretty" - 5'2" "barbie doll" blond haired, blue eyed, tanned, petite lil thangs. At 6'1, redheaded and blue eyed, pale white skin that burns at the mere mention of the sun. Well, I always felt so out of place.

It took a good number of years to come to the self-realization that my femininity and feeling sexy came needed to start on the inside. It certainly didn't hurt that redheads became "in". It didn't hurt that I am more comfortable in beautiful heels/stilettoes with great legs.

Over the years, my "fuck what everyone else thinks" attitude has really made me find my sense of self and sexiness. I am just as sexy in a killah dress and heels, a power suit, or in a pair of baggy basketball shorts, tank top and do-rag (my weekend home project attire). I have to decide that I am sexy. I can't let anyone or anything decide that for me. That is my power and mine alone.

In as far as the "symbols" of femininity, I admit that keeping my nails done is a priority for me. I have long, thin hands (7 1/2" from tip to base) and I feel positively undone without them. I can palm a basketball or grab an octave on the piano and without my nails manicured and polished, I feel like I have "man hands". That and lovely shoes are probably my only two "symbols."

Darlin', get up and look in that mirror and tell yourself that you are sexy. You are pretty. You are smart. You are (fill in the blank). Literally do this. Its amazing after a while that you will begin to believe it.

Christie