[amiyesiam]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

what does the bf dynamic mean to me? kind of a wierd question to answer as it's kinda like me answering what being a lesbian means to me.

personally I don't see it as anything but a sexuality. There isn't any roles in my relationships so I can't speak about that. My partner does what she enjoys and is good at, I do the same, just like any other relationship. She doesn't hold doors for me or take off her hat or anything along those lines. She spoils me in the way I find important, but I would expect every good relationship no matter what the people are in to do that.

I wouldn't be able to answer that because I'm not really very traditional in many ways in our relationship. so, the dynamic is not, for me, who opens doors, who pays the bill, who gets me a beer, who carries the bags - she's not my dogsbody. she does these things on many occations (save the door opening) but no more than I see other lesbian couples doing these things for each other who aren't butch-femme.

so, to me, it's purely about sex.

I have to agree with this. I am who I am, femme is a part of that. I try to be the best me I can be, not the best femme I can be. We as a couple, work together based on what we are good at. We don't assign rolls based on who is butch and who is femme.

I get the concept of the B-F dance
but everyone has to figure out what that means to them.