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Old 01-20-2010, 09:55 AM   #19
labete
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queer femme
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she
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preoccupied
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
Energy is probably the best identifier for this dynamic for me as well. Through the years, terms and phrases and words have floated around to describe the B-F dynamic....yin/yang.....the dance....complementary energies....etc.

I think they are all correct. Each partnering is individual and rarely follows the exact same parameters. I know I have it when I feel it. It's like a strong wind blowing through a valley of trees. Some days I'm the trees. Some days I'm the wind. But there is always that syncopation; that rhythm of movement.
This is largely how I feel about it, too. Complementary energies that, for me, give a kind of balance that works for me and reinforces my energy. I find that I naturally seek a kind of balance, and if the person I'm with is too much like me, my balance can be thrown off.

When I had my first female lover, she was very feminine, and I found myself feeling the yin side of me rise more, which (for me, myself, and I, not remotely speaking for anyone else here) subdued my yang in a way that makes me feel less true to myself. I don't like that feeling.

It's not about who opens the door or takes out the trash or cooks or washes, although such acts can be symbolic of the energy exchange if they are meaningful to the people engaging in them. It's about finding someone whose energies balance mine in a way that supports me being true to myself. For me, that means someone whose yin is more prevalent than their yang, and I find that in butches.
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