[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by Hack

Sometimes one is permanently scarred. It really is a matter of how you tend to the wound. Not everyone heals the same. And some never completely heal. I agree with the others here...determining if/when you are ready is a very personal journey for the individual.

Without more details, it's impossible to speak to your particular situation, but I take issue with the notion that someone who has decided that moving forward into a new relationship is looking in the rear view mirror, living in the past or otherwise holding on. While that may be true for some, it is not universally the case. Nor do I believe in "permanent scarring," but it's possible there is damage significant enough that the time it takes to heal is a long time (and doesn't suit those who wish for "more"). No one can determine for another what that length of time is going to be. Sometimes therapy might be in order to help time work its magic.

And sometimes choosing not to be in a relationship is a wise choice based on lessons learned, as opposed to jadedness. Personally, I prefer the term "wisdom." Our society, and this community in particular, is so relationship-centric. Whatever happened to two people who enjoy each other's company simply doing that? Why do we need to be paired and have proprietorship over one another?