[Lynn]

I just have a couple of disparate thoughts after reading the thread and looking at some others, too.

1. This discussion is, for me, about self-image and self-validation. Someone who is "only" ten or twenty pounds overweight (or pick a number) shouldn't be maligned or dismissed for seeing themselves in this discussion. I don't think it's really about a number, per se, as much as a broader discussion of self-perception and how that affects how we are seen in the world. At 5'ish tall, I'd personally be quite pleased to be in a size 12, even though that would likely mean that, by all accounts, I'd still be significantly overweight. How big does big have to be to qualify to be able to relate to feeling self-hatred and experiencing the derision of others?

2. I haven't quite reconciled these two beliefs:
-We should not be criticized for having sexual and romantic preferences. Attraction is a personal thing and I have no right to judge others as I believe they have no business judging me.
-The inability or unwillingness to view me for who I am, not what I look like, is hateful and unacceptable.

3. As much as I think (in my brain) that it's very nice that some butches are posting things about how wonderful big femmes are, my guts tend to churn. Not sure why. Maybe something to do with the idea that this reinforces the idea that women are supposed to be shored up from the outside, by the validation and acceptance of others, rather than learning how to do this for themselves, from the inside out. I'd rather be engaged in an intelligent discussion about something I share with another person than to be told, kind of wholesale, that I am one of the rockin' big, beautiful women. Sorry. It makes me go "ewww," which I own as my problem.