Quote:
Originally Posted by Heart
I did not call it abuse. Abuse is imminent danger. Discomfort and embarrassment is not imminent danger. Plus, calling child welfare authorities often exposes families to racist, sexist, classist, homophopbic systems that compound trauma, have no understanding of diversity in families, and do not have children's best interests at heart, but are mostly concerned with liability. I'm not personally comfortable with this parent's decisions and feel it violates boundaries, but that does not mean I am labeling it abusive.
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OK, I can see this- and I do know about social services and how these systems are as you state at times. No, it isn't imminent danger- but it crosses boundaries and I would be very concerned with this kid's discomfort.- especially if this is the transgender furry phenomenon that includes butt plugs. Given the possible kinds of exposure he could be subjected to (not saying he is right now), it could turn into legally defined child abuse.
This just isn't a matter of how kids can get all goofy about their parents being sexual beings. And the kid will have plenty of time to discover and explore all dimensions (including various sex toys) of sexuality as he grows up.
To be honest, I would want to know about this as a parent and talk with my ex about it. Even when we are separated or divorced and share custody, it is really important to share child rearing practices in a consistant manner- for the kid. I honestly don't give a hooray for his father's desires here. Adults have the space to do what we want and not involve our kids. Especially at ages that are just difficult with development in ordinary circumstances.