[princessbelle]

You know I really hate it, but it seems some straight people feel the b/f dynamic (broad) is so complicated.

For instance, when coming "out" to people here in my local town, including my mom, my boss, my friends, it is one thing to get them to wrap their head around the fact i'm gay. It is a whole other discussion trying to clarify i am attracted to the butch id'd people.

I've heard "you can't be gay your so girly" or "you have to be bisexual, you look like a girl" and on and on, as i'm sure you all know.

I used to believe it needed this deep explanation down to the core of how i id and education on how others id. I still have a hard time understanding why that is so hard to "get", but it truly seems to be.

There are very few femmes where i live, and most parties i've attended or adult gay bars there seems to be 90-100% more butch ID'd people. I honestly thought something was wrong with me being gay and being feminine until i found these sites.

I remember once years ago i was at a gay party here in town, and i was the only femme there. I walked up to a group of people who were talking and immediately they stopped talking and just stared at me. I will never forget that. I felt so misplaced, so invalid, and so alone. I don't know if they thought i was straight, or they just thought i was weird because of how feminine i was. All i know is it hurt me. I remember going home that night and crying my eyes out because i just didn't feel like i fit in anywhere, not in the straight world and not in the gay world.

It is hard finally coming out and then to have to determine where you fit in the gay community is another mountain....or at least it was for me.

When i found the word femme and saw pictures online on the dash site of feminine women who embraced the way they looked and stood proud of the way they ID'd it was so liberating for me. I had found my place.

Over the last couple of years, not only do i feel like i fit in, but i've made some beautiful relationships with other femmes and have opened my heart to the differences even within the term "femme".

I no longer go to bed crying and feeling alone in this world. I may still be sort of alone in this city, but now i know who i am and that i DO fit in and i am not misplaced.

I am part of a wonderful, dynamic, strong, positive group of women, and that makes me proud.