Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetfemme247
I dont think I will ever lose weight while living with my aunt, instead of encouraging me, she puts me down
|
Hey sweetfemme,
I know how hard this is. Long story, but my family is highly critical...particularly around issues of weight. Since they are naturally slim and athletically built people, and I take after the other (round and soft) side of the family, they really couldn't relate to me or my realities.
One of the things that I found helpful is to call them out on it (and, yes, that's difficult). Generally, people who make passive-aggressive nasty or ciritical remarks aren't expecting for you to respond other than by being hurt.
I'm not saying get into a huge argument.....but a calm honest response that questions them can be remarkably effective.
My mother couldn't speak for about 5 minutes the first time I responded with "So Mom, the last few times I've seen you, you've made critical remarks about my weight. Do you honestly think that the most important thing about me is the size of my waist?"
It might not have been the most brilliant question, but it did slow her down.
After that, every time she'd be critical I'd call it out and question if that's what she really meant to say, and if she was actually defining me and our relationship by my weight.
Eventually, she stopped.
I'm not promising anything....but people who use sarcasm and criticism to control others aren't usually prepared for calm, honest confrontation.
Just something to think about....and wishing you the best.
