[Jess]

Originally Posted by Kobi

Jess,

This speaks to me on so many different levels. Of particular interest today is how you pointed out that some of us use the word lesbian in a narrowly focused way. Yet, in doing so, the intent is not to take away from others or to be in opposition to others. I would add in to not be in competition with others as well.

I have asked repeatedly in this thread what is so threatening about lesbians, who define very narrowly asking for their own space to talk. I didnt think I was getting an answer. But, I was. I got so caught up in the forest, I couldnt see the trees.

For others, like me, who are connect-the-dots challenged, it occurred to me this morning, that it was people who narrowly define like me who excluded many women and lesbians back in the day.

One group we excluded was the butch-femme community. Thankfully they went ahead and made their own community. Here, those people we excluded found a home, a place to be all that they were.

And, a couple of days ago, here comes this narrow definition lesbian, asking for narrow definition lesbian space to discuss narrow definition lesbian stuff.

Deja vu? Wounds run deep. You, inadvertantly pick at the scars, the rawness of the wounds find the light of day.

Did I connect the dots in the right order?

Kobi,
Thank you for the response.

I can understand how you might feel some guilt ( this is how I read your post) around a narrow definition that not everyone fits into. I however, do not feel this way with the word lesbian or dyke for that matter.

For me, it IS a narrow definition that encompasses a wide variety of its collective. By and large and for no reason other than to fight oppression, Gay men came together and said "no more!" ( well, first they came together to meet other kindreds, then later organized to fight oppression) Lesbians did the same thing. We were ( and still are mind you) oppressed for nothing more than loving same sex partners. From THIS, came our culture. Not the other way around. ( ok, granted some lesbian/ gay writers wrote books without a defined community already in place, it wasn't until the gatherings/ movements started that these obscure artists gained recognition)

I will never say that I feel all lesbians or even a fraction of them should dress such and such a way, or listen to only female voices or eat whole grains or live up to their armpits in dirt. We are as different and unique as women are from one another. I will however always believe that the common denominator/ definition of lesbian/ dyke is that we are women who love other women.

I never wish to make someone else feel marginalized or less than. I also have no desire to claim something I clearly do not live.

Thank you, again.