Quote:
Originally Posted by Martina
It does. i frequently seek out a position as the second. i am an only child and a crone. i need my independence. Ironically, this gives me that. i also get to love and devote myself to an appreciative Other. Others in this case. Ma'am and Sir come before most things. But i have a life separate from them. A happy life of work and friends. i kinda need that.
When i was partnered, i'd get into these codep relationships in which i'd give and give and my girlfriend would suck me dry. In D/s, i get to devote myself to another, worship Them, do almost anything for Them, and They make sure i don't get lost in that. They don't take it all as some of my lovers have done. They make sure i have a healthy balanced life.
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You know that makes sense to me. I also think that is why so many people get caught up in long distance online relationships. I'm sure its the original intent but they can have all the feelings of love, passion, devotion and belong without the day to day responsibility of a relationship.
One of the main reasons I feel I am not in a relationship is that I don't want to give up my "space" and the truth is that I can spend days a lone. You can be in the same house with me and you may not see me or know I'm there. In my past D/s relationships I felt drained. As much as I enjoy the dynamic of D/s I step back because of this. I often wondered if poly relationships could be a solution for this and if so would it make it impossible for two people to fully bond and connect. Does that make sense?
I feel that it will take a special person(s) for me to share space with. They would need to be mature, open-minded, emotionally sound and also enjoy their space.