[*Anya*]

Hi All. I have not written for a few days. Many of you saw my "Dear" post about my cock-a-poo Jani going into respiratory failure and I had to make the very, very difficult decision to put her down Saturday 8/6.

I am pretty much consumed with grief and it has totally taken my appetite away so I am an not having difficulty with my eating. For a couple of days I started thinking: "What's the point, who cares, I don't care" but I did not give into it.

I have made through the craving for sweets-think it might be 8-10 days by now. I am not allowing myself to think about them or I will be lost, I am just too vulnerable right now and am just looking for a reason to make myself even more sad and miserable than I already am-eating sweets would do it for sure. I could then throw in self-loathing for good measure.

I found that I can't go down the stairs at all as my knee gives out but for some bizzare reason I am able to walk upstairs without too terribly much pain. I about die on the 3rd flight but have now made it to 4. I don't know if it is enough to lose weight on but I feel better about having done it for the 3rd day in a row.

Regards,