Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - The Femme Continuum: The "Highs" and "Lows" of Visibility

ArkansasPiscesGrrl · 08-18-2011, 12:34 PM

What a wonderful thread! You know, this is one of the reasons I signed on to this website!
I came out at a late age, at 49. Before that I was married twice. I always KNEW there was something about me, but for whatever reason, had to come out when I did.
I am tall, and I used to be a BBW. When I came across online boards for B/F topics, I knew I didn't FEEL like a butch, nor did I look anything like one. But then, with society's conditioning, I also didn't fir the mold or internal "picture" in my mind as to looking like a Femme. To *ME*, a femme was short, tiny, beautiful long nails and long hair, etc. At 5'11", I felt more like a bull in a china shop! I asked this friend once, she was this cute little boi, if I could be considered a femme. She just laughed and asked what ELSE I could think I was! DUH!
When I did come out, at 49 (looking totally white-bread Grandma look), I was desparate to "look the part". I cut my hair short, spiked it up, ANYTHING to "look" gay, or to be acknowledged as a lesbian.
I still get frustrated because I blend in and look "too straight", IE: I don't get acknowledged as gay. I say I don't set ANYONE'S gaydar off. Grrrr!

08-18-2011, 12:34 PM	#3
ArkansasPiscesGrrl Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Relationship Status: feeling pretty darned blissful right now! Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: central AR Posts: 856 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,594 Thanked 3,079 Times in 741 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	What a wonderful thread! You know, this is one of the reasons I signed on to this website! I came out at a late age, at 49. Before that I was married twice. I always KNEW there was something about me, but for whatever reason, had to come out when I did. I am tall, and I used to be a BBW. When I came across online boards for B/F topics, I knew I didn't FEEL like a butch, nor did I look anything like one. But then, with society's conditioning, I also didn't fir the mold or internal "picture" in my mind as to looking like a Femme. To ME, a femme was short, tiny, beautiful long nails and long hair, etc. At 5'11", I felt more like a bull in a china shop! I asked this friend once, she was this cute little boi, if I could be considered a femme. She just laughed and asked what ELSE I could think I was! DUH! When I did come out, at 49 (looking totally white-bread Grandma look), I was desparate to "look the part". I cut my hair short, spiked it up, ANYTHING to "look" gay, or to be acknowledged as a lesbian. I still get frustrated because I blend in and look "too straight", IE: I don't get acknowledged as gay. I say I don't set ANYONE'S gaydar off. Grrrr!