[Kobi]

June,

I have no issue with the moderation. It was necessary. It was a derogatory term. I expect stuff like this to be moderated.

What I also expect is, it was moderated. To have Dapper and Ender come in and add fuel to the fire, to me, was the patriarchy coming in to silence and chastise the lesbians. It was unnecessary except to send a message.

I also expect moderations to be fair across the board and they are not. Trans issues and racial issues are moderated with a very heavy hand. I have no problem with that either. But, I expect when lesbian issues crop up or female issues, they will be given the same weight and the same forcefulness. In my opinion they are not.

I am not going to be dragged into a debate about the definition of a lesbian. Lesbian connotates something very specific, very particular and very unmistakeable. I havent seen any dictionary change it over the last 40 years.

And this is not about "othering". It is about being "othered". This about voicing a right to exist along side others on an equal par. And it is about having the right to voice the right to exist and have it validated. It is about speaking to the truth of feeling marginalized. From where I stand, only lesbians, like me, have to sit here and defend themselves in discussions like this. No other id has to defend itself. Why do I?

Lesbian has become a huge, widespread thing to basically mean anything other than male. That, to me, diminishes me and my identity. Yet, I am not supposed to be offended by this or even speak to it. But, I do have to defend it....over and over and over.

I have deliberately not used the volatile word "censorship". And I will continue to avoid it.

Again, the issues are being swept under the rug while we focus on terminology and bigotry.

Originally Posted by June

Kobi --

Is it censorship and a call for sameness if we moderate someone for using a derisive term "Once Men" to describe Transwomen?

This thread is about Lesbian Pride. How does denigrating a portion of our community make you or anyone feel personally proud?

What I am reading here as both a participant and a moderator is some serious gatekeeping around who is a Lesbian and who is not.

Perhaps I am not a real Lesbian in the eyes of some because I was married to my sons father for 14 years prior to coming out? Even though I have been in a Lesbian relationship for 12 years.

We are asking that people refrain from using derogatory terms. Period.

Who is the patriarchy that came in here? Is it me? Is it Bulldog? Is it Aj? That is a pretty serious accusation to throw out there, and frankly, it's offensive and judgmental to me.

Because we have said "This is not the place for that" suddenly, we are censoring people and part of the "Patriarchy".

Would you feel the same way if someone on this forum threw the term "Rug Munchers" into their post? How is that different. Tell me. Because I can guarantee you that would get moderated as well. Would it still be censorship?

--June (Member to member)