[princessbelle]

The only access i had to being a lesbian was very limited here where i grew up. Most all the gay/queer people that i knew and know here in town, at gay bars, were/are butch or Ftm or masculine. I felt so out of place. They looked at me funny, they stoopped talking when i walked up to them, they thought i was odd or at least that is how i perceived it. They were not into "femmes" i know that now. But, it left me lost. I felt abandoned by my own community. I didn't fit in the straight world or what i knew of the gay world.

My first real girlfriend was butch which is what i've always been attracted to. I remember on our 2nd or 3rd date i appologized for being feminine. I felt embarressed by it, as if i were a freak in the gay world. I even offered to "butch up" a little or try to. She looked at me and said "Are you freaking kidding me? Your exactly what i like, don't you dare change a thing".

I was shocked someone could be attracted to my femininity.

But, not until i came online and found bf sites did i realize i had an actual ID which was femme. That there are others "like" me out there and i didn't have to change who i was. That i was ok.

It is so wonderful to belong some where. No matter how we dress, grow our hair, walk, talk, love or laugh, we are a sisterhood. I am so honored to be a part of that.