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*Anya* · 08-25-2011, 08:20 AM

When I say it took me two years to lose 50 pounds, I am not exaggerating for effect!

That comes out to 2.083 pounds per month!

That was sticking to 1500 calories and no butter, no cookies/cakes/pies, etc. That was some weeks gaining a couple of pounds regardless of how well I did.

Today, after having gained 15 pounds of it back, it seems like a distant memory.

I have been off sweets/butter/bread again for maybe 3 weeks now. I have lost 1.5 pounds. I am walking up 6 flights of stairs twice a day.

I just keep repeating my mantra: You did it before, you will do it again, you have control.

It does make me very sad that I gave up control and have to lose the same fucking 15 pounds I already shed previously but I just can't think like that.

It is also why I try to give myself kudos fir eating healthfully and nit fixating so much on the pounds.

I have always had a screwed up body image! When I was 16 and weighed 110, I was convinced I was fat. All my friends did. We even found a "weight loss" MD that gave us diet pills. I got down to 105 (I am a hair under 5'4 but like to say I am 5'4). I was thrilled until I keeled over and fainted one day in my kitchen.

I know that regardless of what I weigh, I still need to change how I think. I will trudge on and try to focus on healthy instead of thin.

Still very, very hard.

08-25-2011, 08:20 AM	#1341
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,455 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	When I say it took me two years to lose 50 pounds, I am not exaggerating for effect! That comes out to 2.083 pounds per month! That was sticking to 1500 calories and no butter, no cookies/cakes/pies, etc. That was some weeks gaining a couple of pounds regardless of how well I did. Today, after having gained 15 pounds of it back, it seems like a distant memory. I have been off sweets/butter/bread again for maybe 3 weeks now. I have lost 1.5 pounds. I am walking up 6 flights of stairs twice a day. I just keep repeating my mantra: You did it before, you will do it again, you have control. It does make me very sad that I gave up control and have to lose the same fucking 15 pounds I already shed previously but I just can't think like that. It is also why I try to give myself kudos fir eating healthfully and nit fixating so much on the pounds. I have always had a screwed up body image! When I was 16 and weighed 110, I was convinced I was fat. All my friends did. We even found a "weight loss" MD that gave us diet pills. I got down to 105 (I am a hair under 5'4 but like to say I am 5'4). I was thrilled until I keeled over and fainted one day in my kitchen. I know that regardless of what I weigh, I still need to change how I think. I will trudge on and try to focus on healthy instead of thin. Still very, very hard. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner