[Medusa]

Perspective:


I began at 335 pounds and a size 28/30. I am STILL wearing a size 28 after a 40 pound loss.
Even when the size doesn't reflect what we want it to, here are some questions to answer:

Do my knees hurt as much now as before?

Do I poop more regularly than before?

How is my stamina and ability to walk or climb stairs compared to before?

Am I sleeping better?


Those things matter. Yes, the smaller ass is a great residual but the goal here is health - making your body feel better!

There are days that I imagine myself going to the McDonald's drive-thru and ordering a double quarter pounder with cheese, a large fries, a large diet coke, and a pie and eating every bit of it and throwing the packages out the window all the way home. When I have days like that, I often can look around and see things that are triggering me - I'm having a shitty day at work and wanting some comfort, I haven't crapped in 3 days and am super whiney, people are getting on my nerves wanting my time and attention, the dash lights are out on the truck again and I'm tired of banging the console to make them come back on.

That frustration works it's way to my marrow and screams for grease and carbs! "SOOTHE ME", it says, "MAKE THESE FEELINGS GO AWAY!", it says.
"FILL ME WITH FOOD SO THAT I CAN FEEL SATISFIED INSTEAD OF FRUSTRATED!!"

Those feelings still happen for me but I'm learning to sit with the feelings rather than stuffing. It's super uncomfortable for me some days but I'm learning that it's not as scary as I thought.

Baby steps...