So you know the shitty day I've had especially today and then eating the bad stuff. I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way, like I said possibly PMS'ing, not sure. Stressed at work? Absolutely and everything around me just seems to be a bit out of control.
I wasthisclose to getting one of my most favorite BAD things to eat tonight which is Chinese Food. What made it worse is that today was a bad day at work and I didn't have time to eat lunch, so by the time I came home I was starving. That evil thought of dialing for take out was real bad and I was minutes from doing so. Of course I know it's bad and it took so much will power on my part to NOT call and do that. I was actually talking to myself in my car saying "M, don't do it. Why the fuck are you going to do this to yourself?" "You lost some weight, yeah not as much as you would like to have done at this time, but still, you are doing it".
When I walked into my house I got the 94% fat free Hebrew National Hot Dogs out of the freezer with 1 cup of vegetarian baked beans. I figured it was ok to have 2 hot dogs and a full cup of the beans since I didn't eat anything at all today.
I'm real happy that I made the right decision and I'm kind of proud of myself because the temptation was VERY bad. I also thought about my clothes size and I know if I don't make the right choices I'll continue to be in this miserable rut. It's so hard and it sucks, but it's up to me to do this and no one else.
And, here I go getting all mushy again but all you folks who continue to post about the good and bad days and open yourselves up to express it no holds barred, I thank you tremendously.
I love u people and find comfort with sharing how I'm feeling in here. Sometimes not so easy for me to do. Yeah I'm the jokester and loving smart ass at times, but I'm a little vulnerable right now. Almost as though I'm in a bit of a funk. I can't explain it, but in any case thank you friends.
|