[Lizzy]

In between the birth of my first son and my second son I was pregnant and I lost the baby in the fith month. It was very traumatic for me and I still remember the doctor telling me that they could not find a heart beat. At the time I was seeing a male doctor who had the worst bedside manner. After having an awful procedure to stop my bleeding he told me that I needed to just let it go.That this happens to a lot of women and I would go on to have more children.Basically he just said get over it. My family was the type to just pretend your ok and smile,just keep going. So I did, I concentrated on my son and tried to move on.Eventually I had my second son 2yrs later.I would not trade him for anything in the world.Every year when Septermber comes around I think of that day in September all those years ago I still remember it like it was yesterday.I still remember the Doctors exact words.My anxiety levels go up, I start to get insomnia at night then I am cranky the next day.But I smile my day through work and then I come home and crash.Usually after a couple of weeks I start to come back around but year after year I go through the same cycle.I want to come to some sort of peace with this but every year I am just filled with such regret.