Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzy
In between the birth of my first son and my second son I was pregnant and I lost the baby in the fith month. It was very traumatic for me and I still remember the doctor telling me that they could not find a heart beat. At the time I was seeing a male doctor who had the worst bedside manner. After having an awful procedure to stop my bleeding he told me that I needed to just let it go.That this happens to a lot of women and I would go on to have more children.Basically he just said get over it. My family was the type to just pretend your ok and smile,just keep going. So I did, I concentrated on my son and tried to move on.Eventually I had my second son 2yrs later.I would not trade him for anything in the world.Every year when Septermber comes around I think of that day in September all those years ago I still remember it like it was yesterday.I still remember the Doctors exact words.My anxiety levels go up, I start to get insomnia at night then I am cranky the next day.But I smile my day through work and then I come home and crash.Usually after a couple of weeks I start to come back around but year after year I go through the same cycle.I want to come to some sort of peace with this but every year I am just filled with such regret.
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I'm sorry for your loss. The grieving process is different for each of us. I'm sorry to say that your pain may never fully go away. It's good that you are aware of the cycles so you can insulate yourself from other aggravating factors.