Today would have been my thirty-third wedding anniversary had my husband lived. He has been dead now for almost eight years. Our anniversary, his and my birthday, and the anniversary of his death are still very hard for me. The death anniversary is the worst, and what I go through is very similar to what you experince. He died three days after Christmas. I kind of force myself through Christmas and the day after for my kids sake, and then I just allow myself to have a period of mourning. This year was particularly hard for some reason I have never figured out. I have come to believe that these days will always be hard. If others don't like it, or don't understand, well I can't help that. I do what I need to do.
Losing a baby that you wanted is so awful. I am very very sorry that you had to go through that. Of course it doesn't stop you from being happy that you have other children and loving them like crazy. But one of your children died. To me it would be abnormal if you did not mourn your child's loss. It doesn't matter if other people chose/choose to ignore it. To me they are the ones who are wrong. I think they had good intentions, hoping to help you have less pain. They probably still suffer around the death anniversary. They just don't want to make you sad, so they don't tell you. If you feel like it (and ONLY if you feel like it) why don't you bring it up with your family. Sharing this sad time might make it easier for all of you.
I send you strength and a wish for increased peace.
Hugs
Keri
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