[NJFemmie]

My mother died when I was 14 - and I just turned 45. I still grieve, especially on her birthday and around holidays. The thing with that is, you can't let that interfere with your daily life. This may sound a bit harsh, but life does go on -- and although the pain and the emotions are still there (and always will be) - you do have to let it go, especially when you find yourself falling into a depressional rut. I have to force myself to think about other things - or concentrate on those around me.

Perhaps that differs from losing a baby, but I lost one too many years ago. My ex boyfriend was not as sympathetic and compassionate as I would have liked him to be - and I found myself bitter and resentful toward him for that, which made me hold on to the pain that much harder. When I realized that I had more to lose by holding on to it, I learned how to gently let it go and push on. I couldn't let his reaction dictate my emotions anymore. I realized that it just wasn't meant to be, and I had to be okay with that.

Your doctor should have been more gentle and compassionate with you, but more importantly, be these things with yourself. You can't always rely on others to provide what you need to provide for yourself. Everything happens for a reason even when we can't figure what the reason is .... you deprive yourself of happiness and peace if you don't make that peace within yourself. Let go and let God.