[Tangle]

I agree, for the most part, with the posts above. And Miss Priss, honestly it seems like that advice was correct for your situation - the person you were dating was certainly not 'into' you the way you undoubtedly deserve.

A bit of devil's advocacy though - I think that there is a tendency to believe that Any talk of past relationships or comparing people you've been with to the present partner is wrong, uncool, wading in the past. I disagree. I think that when dating, having fun and feeling someone out is really important and half of the point. The other half of the point is, for many people, to find someone who you may be compatible with in a more intense relationship.

I am a painfully honest person - and if I'm considering being 'with' someone, all of who i am and what I think is essentially out there on the table to be read/listened to/mulled over by my potential lover- I would never want someone to make an important decision about me based off of my charm and grace *laugh* (jk). If someone does something or says something that is either a trigger for me, or refreshingly different from what I endured in my past 9-year relationship, I'm going to say so.

It's not a daily thing, but if there's a moment of beauty that surprises me b/c it's not what I was used to from before, I feel like I should be able to share that and say "thank you!" - and not hide why it's so lovely to me. I am in no way hung up on that past relationship - I took over a year to figure myself out before I really decided i was ready for whatever might come my way - but I reserve the right to discuss my past occasionally, as that person was my primary life relationship for approximately a third of my life.

*curtsy* thanks