Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetiefemme
I don't mind being treated, but it has to go both ways once in a while. I also don't mind a great homemade picnic down at a park or somewhere pretty, a walk along the river gives a great chance to talk and get to know one another.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atomiczombie
I was talking to someone in the chat room the other night and I made the remark that I can't afford date anyone right now. The femme I was talking to asked me why I feel that it takes money, and for me it comes down to how I treat a femme on a date.
For *ME*, it takes money to date a femme properly. No, I would never take a femme to McDonald's for a date. I may not take her to the fanciest place for dinner, but it should be nice. 60$ is not an unreasonable amount to spend on a nice meal with a girl. Then there is all the grooming. A fresh haircut every 2 weeks; getting a car wash before each date because who wants to be picked up in a dirty car??; Having freshly cleaned and pressed clothes that are dress-casual to dressy. (Jeans are fine if you have a dress shirt and tie to go with them.) And, bring her a small gift with each date, usually flowers, but it could be something else that she likes, such as candy or something else. Buy her drinks if you are at a bar.
Things that don't cost money but are essential to me are: Be freshly showered before each date! Open every door for her; pull out her chair for her; allow her to order her food first; ask her first if you want to hold her hand or kiss her (that's just good manners). If you like how she looks or her smile or how she smells or the things that she says, or wears, then tell her. Let her talk about herself, and don't dominate the conversation with things about you. Don't use a lot of swear words. Don't talk about your exes!! Don't be in a rush to get into bed; try to get to know her, who she is and what she is like. Listen to her. Ask her what kind of things she enjoys doing, what kind of food she likes, etc. so if she agrees to another date, you can plan your next date around things she enjoys. Don't do the same thing every single date - try to plan a variety of activities. Thank her for spending time with you, and if you really like her and want to see her again, don't wait more than 2 days to call her. Don't call her the very next day, either. Give room, but not too much room. Don't blow up her phone with text messages either, but saying you had a good time is important.
The person I was discussing this with said she had never been treated this way on a date, and I was kind of surprised. She told me I should start a thread about dating, so here it is:
Femmes, how do you like to be treated on a date? I think all of us people on the masculine spectrum should know what you ladies would like and what you think is important. I know not all femmes are the same and like the exact same things, so having as much feed back as possible is really appreciated! Also, some feed back about what NOT to do would be helpful too! Stories about both good dates and bad ones are welcome! I personally would really like to know how to be a better date so that someday, if I ever can afford to date again, I can do it better. Thanks in advance!
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Atomic.........First let me say, your ideas about dating sound wonderful! This femme thinks you are doing everything right.
But I'll give you my insights! I went on a very nice date today, and here are some things that stood out. She opened the car door for me each time, then waited until I was "settled" in the car before closing the car door. (nice detail!!) She opened all of the other doors too. She paid, but I would have been happy to split since it was a first date. But she insisted, and I kind of liked that. During the date, there was constant eye contact, which is important. Excellent manners, such as not interrupting each other, good table manners, no cell phone, etc.--all very good! Also, affirmations or confirmations that the date is going well (if it is) are really appreciated, during the date. "This is fun", or "I'm having a great time", are wonderful to hear. Yes, the compliments are nice too! I never expect flowers or gifts, but I would love such a thing if it were done.
The definite DON'Ts are:
-using your cell phone (unless it's an understandable emergency)
-talking about exes extensively
-talking about one subject forever
-not focusing on your date
-checking your watch
As I said, I think you are doing everything right. Not all femmes are the same, but in my humble opinion, you are certainly on the right track. Paying attention to what the femme likes is so important and so considerate. When you do that, and pay attention to all the sweet little details....those are the things that make my heart go pitter-patter.
And on a final note, you are right, it does take some finances to date, but many women enjoy the free/cheap things in life too! Parks, museums, beaches, street fairs, etc. are all great things to do!
Good luck in your quest! (I think you'll be fabulous!)