[SoNotHer]

I wanted to thank you all for your writing. I appreciated your answers very much. What you've written is beautiful in its profundity and intelligence. And you handled the questions with grace, taking the higher ground.

I have much to learn about the trans community, but I believe I will learn much here. I also believe you fall in love with a person. I would consider myself lucky to fall in love with someone as brave, self aware and self determined as the posters who responded here, a beautiful exception to the many who are unconscious or afraid to be who they are.

A while back, I attended a lesbian weekend retreat in Galveston. A transgendered person wanted to come along, which created some friction, particularly upsetting one member. I said something to the group like, "Well it didn't stop you from inviting me." They paused, wide-eyed and dumbfounded and then laughed nervously. And then I said, "Really, who's to say who any of us are who should be and what company we should keep?" I was startled and angry. I didn't want to believe that we who had been excluded and stereotyped would in turn do the same thing. People began to reconsider and decided to do the right thing. As it turned out, the lesbian-identified woman who protested too much fell in love with the person she would have rejected. In fact, I think it started that weekend.

So I wonder if Hunter has reasons beyond what she may know or is ready to embrace. For her sake, I hope she has that self discovery sooner rather than later and learns to embrace the queer community in all its beautiful and intelligent complexity.

For my own sake, I am grateful for you and your writing.