[Julie]

So what is our moral responsibility as a friend?
I had this conversation with a friend the other day.

If she were cheating on her partner, would I tell her partner, who is also an equally good friend?

It's a tough response. My initial response was... I would lose all respect for you, and could not be your friend - I don't believe I could tell X.

Her response to me, given the same situation - She would give me a time limit to tell my partner and if I did not, she would.

Then we asked her partner if he would want me to tell them. He said YES!

My father always said... When you are the savior - you become the victim. Be careful. Maybe he was referring to himself, knowing I had the knowledge he cheated on my Mom.

I learned my Dad was having an affair with his best friend. I realized it at my Dad's last birthday. He was Dying and *S* came to his party. I walked in on them embracing and then kissing. My heart filled. I cannot explain it, but my heart filled for my Dad and this Man *S*. The night before he died, he asked to get *S* on the phone for him - My Mother had gone out shopping (imagine that). I was privy to this most intimate conversation of a 30 year love affair. When my Dad died the next day - I called *S* and we cried together and he openly told me his love for my Dad. Both of them had wives and children.

What was my moral responsibility? Should I have told my Mom? Why did my Dad and *S* stay with their wives? I still have so many questions. Were they being moral by staying and supporting their families and not breaking them up?

He is gone now almost 10 years. I don't believe it would ever serve my Mom to know this truth of the man she loved and he loved her. He worshiped her and cared for her - yet, he also loved another.

Perhaps that is why, I have such strong STRONG issues about cheating. I do know the pain it can cause - on both sides.

Lots of personal stuff. But really... Where do you draw the line?

Julie