[Jett]

I've really never understood how a partner who decides to leave someone who is transitioning could be automatically labeled transphobic (though I know sometimes they are).

If I don't find my life mate in a man it doesn't mean misandry is afoot, it means I'm a lesbian, to sweeten the pot, not just lesbian I am highly attracted to a fairly high degree of "femininity", it's what makes my heart initially go boom. Funny too because like I said, hardly misandry, I've found attraction to a few men who were highly feminine in there masculinity (I know that makes sense probably only to me but what the hey).

From my pov, cause it's all I got, I am with a very feminine femme and she has my heart... even if she turned into a big ol' burly butch (let alone transitioning) I would struggle very very VERY hard with that. I would try damn hard because I love her so much... but if that physical, emotional reaction, attraction is not there after her changes would we not be just best of loving friends? Would I be expected to remain with her out of political correctness? I don't think it would be healthy, we both deserve better.

In any relationship, communication is key, in the situation presented (OP) I'd think a person fearing being wrongly labeled transphobic could permanently shut down that critical flow in the time it most needed for both people involved.