[Linus]

K and I ended moving in together nearly a year to the day that we started dating. For us we had more than the usual stressors: her sister had passed away unexpectedly 3 months before I had finally moved and I was dealing with challenges with US Immigration.

Now, I've spent the better part of my life moving so it's something I'm used to. Since I rarely got close to people unless they were work colleagues or on the internet, it was something I was flexible with. However, I was also starting my transition at this time and meeting up with a local trans masculine group helped me a lot.

Since K was already in NYC (and we rent -- it's near impossible to find a place that's decent to buy), she went looking with a broker I paid for. Since I had no credit rating and she was a student, her parents agreed to co-sign the lease. She had it pretty much ready for when I arrived. I had gotten rid of the majority of my bulky items except a few things that were important/antiques. Those things I kept in storage.

And I will re-iterate something that some have said: the challenge of a support net can be the thing that makes a difference. I won't lie. That first year we were together was hard. Damn hard. She had told me a few times that if I wanted to leave I could since dealing with this would be draining. And there were times but I figured if we couldn't deal with the big stuff, how would we deal with the small stuff? The support group was my immediate, quick support net that I could use if I needed to vent. I never did use it, oddly enough, but it was nice to know that I had it (ya know?)

It's hard for me, now that we're in Los Angeles, as it puts me farther away from family (who I see once a year or so) but life can be like that when you're mobile.

Anyways, I think I've meandered a bit too much. My point is this: both should be flexible and supportive when things do go wrong, moreso than usual. Moves are one of the top 3 stressors we face in life (divorce and death are the others, IIRC). It may be worthwhile to find a safety net for each other. Additionally, it may not be a bad thing for whoever's moved to visit home again once or twice a year.