Quote:
Originally Posted by ScandalAndy
I guess I'm just curious because in my case I used the phrase in the specific context of a conversation with a partner or very close friend who was feeling vulnerable about themselves. I guess it would have been better to have said "well, they're clearly blind because you are obviously a man, there's just something wrong with them". I get that now, I was just curious if she was talking about it in the context of some random person she met in her capacity as a public figure, or if it's always offensive, regardless of intent.
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And sometimes it is not so "clear" and people are genuinely responding to what they see........their perception.......or what they KNOW. When we first moved here, I was just starting my transition. The people we interacted with most knew what was going on; they tried and "failed" a lot. But I do know they were trying. I could not fault people for seeing what they saw. I could not say, "It's obvious I am a man," because it was not obvious to them at all. I knew that.
And I'm not talking about assholes who are out to make us miserable or are looking to tear down or discriminate against. I'm talking about people who are trying.......people who want to get it right and/or affirm us.
I did not watch the video recently (it was probably a year or so ago), so I'm not responding to what was said there because I don't remember her specific context.......just taking it beyond that to what others here have experienced and what my own experiences were.
The whole "trans thing" is not a common daily thought for the vast majority of people out there. In fact, I would bet that most people don't think about it AT ALL unless they're confronted with a story......Chaz in the headlines, etc.... So when they were confronted with me a few years back, the people I bothered to interact with were really trying. Honestly, there wasn't anything they could have said that would have been offensive.....to ME.
They said things that were narrow........or uninformed........maybe even insensitive.......but I knew for sure they did not *mean* to be that way. And I'm not one of those who says, "It's not my job to educate you." With something like this, if I don't do what I can then they'll most likely not do it themselves and will continue on being uninformed.
I do get that when you dig down really deep into a statement that, yes, it can reek of ignorance or transphobia; but I honestly don't believe that the people who are really trying are at that level. I just can't allow myself to assume that about most people.
Pollyanna, rainbows, and unicorns???? Probably.