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Dragonfly · 02-06-2010, 01:14 PM

I wanted to respond to the really great points made about placing oneself in a dangerous situation for the sake of someone else's comfort. I dont think anyone should sacrifice their safety or feeling safe to make someone else feel comfortable. We shouldn't as a community promote that sort of mentality because we are not what is "wrong"... the discrimination is wrong.

I had tried to shorten my post and left out a few details about when I choose to use a men's restroom. For one, I never ever sit in any restroom or touch anything so if its dirty I dont really care. If a lady were to look under the door and see my feet she may think it is proof I am a man in there. Plus, I wash real well afterwards lol.

Also the men's dressing room is often a one stall and the womens is often multi stalled where I tend to shop.

Because of the issues I have struggled with, the fact that I am ever alone and vulnerable is a huge triumph for me. I wear men's clothes because they are concealing certain clothing layers that reduce the chances of my being raped. I do not need to remind myself I never stop thinking about how that I am never going to be 100% safe from an assault for being and looking like I do. So More often than not I carry a conceled weapon that would actually cause me more trouble should I too get dragged from the ladies room by security.

With the PTSD that I struggled with for 2 decades now I have evolved alongside very loyal men, and am rarely alone when going into those restrooms. I am usually with Foo or another friend when I am out and about. I am firends with a 90/10 ratio of gendered bio males over Queer or hetero bio females. Yeah Men are bigger than me, some of my girlfriends were bigger than me too. Last year I dated a line backer chick who could toss me over her shoulder and throw me around. lol. Safety in numbers feels safer to me but to some people safe is different things. I need to be safe from persecution and searches because I revolve my life around living with and recovering the best I can. So sometimes I personally choose the less likely risk of another attack, especially in a public restroom when I am usually accompanied everywhere I go anyway, over the daily rubbing in my face how disgusting I am to society to dress so masculine yet be so obviously female bodied. I could only pass for male back in the 80's when my skater friends had long hair and flannels too... And then only from a distance,

My daughter believes society will catch up as soon as the asshats die off. Then all that is left is a majority rule of acceptance generations. I hope so too...

02-06-2010, 01:14 PM	#12
Dragonfly Member How Do You Identify?: Queersexual Female Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: smiling real big Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: My Own House Illinois Posts: 330 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 871 Thanked 346 Times in 151 Posts Rep Power: 645438	Catching Up I wanted to respond to the really great points made about placing oneself in a dangerous situation for the sake of someone else's comfort. I dont think anyone should sacrifice their safety or feeling safe to make someone else feel comfortable. We shouldn't as a community promote that sort of mentality because we are not what is "wrong"... the discrimination is wrong. I had tried to shorten my post and left out a few details about when I choose to use a men's restroom. For one, I never ever sit in any restroom or touch anything so if its dirty I dont really care. If a lady were to look under the door and see my feet she may think it is proof I am a man in there. Plus, I wash real well afterwards lol. Also the men's dressing room is often a one stall and the womens is often multi stalled where I tend to shop. Because of the issues I have struggled with, the fact that I am ever alone and vulnerable is a huge triumph for me. I wear men's clothes because they are concealing certain clothing layers that reduce the chances of my being raped. I do not need to remind myself I never stop thinking about how that I am never going to be 100% safe from an assault for being and looking like I do. So More often than not I carry a conceled weapon that would actually cause me more trouble should I too get dragged from the ladies room by security. With the PTSD that I struggled with for 2 decades now I have evolved alongside very loyal men, and am rarely alone when going into those restrooms. I am usually with Foo or another friend when I am out and about. I am firends with a 90/10 ratio of gendered bio males over Queer or hetero bio females. Yeah Men are bigger than me, some of my girlfriends were bigger than me too. Last year I dated a line backer chick who could toss me over her shoulder and throw me around. lol. Safety in numbers feels safer to me but to some people safe is different things. I need to be safe from persecution and searches because I revolve my life around living with and recovering the best I can. So sometimes I personally choose the less likely risk of another attack, especially in a public restroom when I am usually accompanied everywhere I go anyway, over the daily rubbing in my face how disgusting I am to society to dress so masculine yet be so obviously female bodied. I could only pass for male back in the 80's when my skater friends had long hair and flannels too... And then only from a distance, My daughter believes society will catch up as soon as the asshats die off. Then all that is left is a majority rule of acceptance generations. I hope so too... __________________ Stay Gold.