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MissItalianDiva · 11-16-2011, 06:41 PM

I will only speak for myself here and not for anyone else because what didnt work for me might work for someone else just fine. I have always been very girly and growing up I was your typical girl who fantasized about the perfect Prince Charming to come along and whisk me off my feet. I made "lists" very young and even into my adulthood except around 20 I really did make a true physical list on paper.

My list was long and tedious. It was everything I was looking for or not looking for. I knew these were needs of mine because I had been on numerous dates or experienced numerous things along the way that encompassed my vision of a perfect mate. I am the type of person who sometimes has a tendency to be very black and white in the way I view people and the world. So once my list had been made I became even more rigid than previously.

I dated numerous people who had all the attributes of my list but for some reason it still was not a match or in dating them I found some other little thing to add to my ever growing list of requirement and in turn I would cease the relationship due to them not fitting my "standards"

I did this for years and only recently have realized I am an idiot and have been for some time. Love is not about lists or requirements. Sure we all have preference but the thing about life I have learned to love the most is that just when we think we have things figured out or just when we decide what we absolutely don't want the Universe steps in and shows us something different.

Love is kind and gentle. Not filled with unrealistic expectations of ourselves or others. Sometimes our preferences and requirements are not in our own best interest. I know for me I am my own worst enemy at true happiness sometimes because I think I know myself so well.

It's a work in progress but I am learning to relax and just let life happen. Without the rigid lists or without unrealistic expectations of others. My list got burnt in a bon fire about 2 months ago and I can honestly say my view of potential dating partners and life in general is much more enjoyable.

11-16-2011, 06:41 PM	#85
MissItalianDiva Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Miss Twiggy Preferred Pronoun?: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and that shit doesn't sound atrocious! Relationship Status: divorce happens..all that glitters ain't gold Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SLC Utah Posts: 2,284 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,768 Thanked 7,159 Times in 1,793 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I will only speak for myself here and not for anyone else because what didnt work for me might work for someone else just fine. I have always been very girly and growing up I was your typical girl who fantasized about the perfect Prince Charming to come along and whisk me off my feet. I made "lists" very young and even into my adulthood except around 20 I really did make a true physical list on paper. My list was long and tedious. It was everything I was looking for or not looking for. I knew these were needs of mine because I had been on numerous dates or experienced numerous things along the way that encompassed my vision of a perfect mate. I am the type of person who sometimes has a tendency to be very black and white in the way I view people and the world. So once my list had been made I became even more rigid than previously. I dated numerous people who had all the attributes of my list but for some reason it still was not a match or in dating them I found some other little thing to add to my ever growing list of requirement and in turn I would cease the relationship due to them not fitting my "standards" I did this for years and only recently have realized I am an idiot and have been for some time. Love is not about lists or requirements. Sure we all have preference but the thing about life I have learned to love the most is that just when we think we have things figured out or just when we decide what we absolutely don't want the Universe steps in and shows us something different. Love is kind and gentle. Not filled with unrealistic expectations of ourselves or others. Sometimes our preferences and requirements are not in our own best interest. I know for me I am my own worst enemy at true happiness sometimes because I think I know myself so well. It's a work in progress but I am learning to relax and just let life happen. Without the rigid lists or without unrealistic expectations of others. My list got burnt in a bon fire about 2 months ago and I can honestly say my view of potential dating partners and life in general is much more enjoyable.