[Dean Thoreau]

Andrew and Iamkerri, I so agree some years are just horrible.....and you feel the loss so much more.
In my case, today I could barely work....the "anniversary" of my daughter Lora's death is not until December 1st but I am already slipping....
walked around sniffling at work all day...maybe its the fact that its the 10 year mark i dont know....maybe its the fact that one of my grandkids..says words a lot like she use to BOP for stop.....lellow for yellow....
I just know that Lora should be turning 23 on Dec 24 and should be a nurse and driving a jeep liberty and meeting a lawyer (she had these plans) and getting married and adopting two children (she knew she could not give birth since she had AIDS, and did not want to give it to them)....and still 20 years since my son john died, 10 years since my daughter died and still no friggin cure for a disease that is killing adults and children..then i sink further think of son jack who was walking down a street....and in 2005 is killed.....
.so I cry, and cry some more
.....and miss her and my sons john & jackie and sink into a depression...
and some asshole says to me" ahh but they are in a better place, they are with the Lord....."
And I say..............
I guess i better stop before I offend someone...or something
Its hell outliving your children.....and people u love....