I can only help with Philly-ish resources, but I do know of a few.
William Way Community Center - The LGBTQ community center at 13th and Spruce in the gayborhood. They host community events, and are a safe space for all community members.
The Mazzoni Center - LGBT Healthcare and Wellness Center. They have a sliding pay scale for economically disadvantaged folks, and are instrumental in helping trans folks with name changes, HRT, legal issues and medical care.
If you're on Facebook, there are all kinds of bars, circuit parties, and other things to do in the city.
Giovanni's Room is the gay bookstore. Great place, nice people, and they've been around FOREVER.
TLA Video has a lot of queer titles. It's hit or miss depending on when you go.
Philadelphia Freedom Band is an LGBTQIA community concert band, if you're a musician.
Philadelphia Voices of Pride is an LGBTQIA mixed voice community chorus if you prefer singing.
Bars:
Sisters - The only "Lesbian" bar in the city. 13th and Chancellor in the gayborhood
Woody's - two floors, primarily male, have $0.80 drink specials but it can be hard to get served if you aren't a dude
iCandy - Formerly 12th air command. Three floors, typical club music, has a tiki deck up top. They're currently trying to get more of a mixed crowd (it has historically been primarily male) so they have temptress tuesdays for the ladies.
Stir - This bar is outside of "the hood" and is located in the swanky Rittenhouse Square area. It's a tiny place, and it's rarely crowded if you prefer that.
Tabu - LGBTQIA sports bar. The upstairs lounge/bar area is often rented out to community organizations who hold fundraisers there, or circuit parties who need a space.
Voyeur - After hours club in the gayborhood. This venue isn't "gay" per se, but is often the after hours stop for everyone leaving gayborhood bars. It's a members-only club, so expect to pay a lot if you decide to go there on a night they're not having a party that's open to the public.
There are a few circuit parties like Fingerbanger, Stimulus, Arouse, Scene and one other that is escaping me at the moment. Depending on the type of music you like, the area of the city you are in/want to go to, and the type of people you're interested in, the party you go to may change.
There are also a bunch of meetup groups. I know there's a lesbian parenting group, a lesbian professionals meetup, and a group for 40+ individuals.
Not sure if any of this info will be helpful outside of Philly, but figured I'd post it just in case.