Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Being Friends with an Ex

girl_dee · 12-08-2011, 07:14 AM

I feel it depends on how you define *friend*. I have a real issue with the way it is used nowadays.

I feel the word friend carries very little meaning in todays world. People we don't even know on Facebook are *Friends*..People we have never met online are *Friends*... it never has resonated with me.

There are very few people in the world I would consider a friend. To me a friend is someone that we could call each other in the middle of the night and we'd be there. Someone that I communicate with ongoing in daily life. Someone who actually cares about how I am doing, and me them. I have many, many acquaintances, but friends, no. I am also very selective about those I bring close to me, my choice. Someone who not only calls me when they are down and out, but when they want to share their joy too. Friendships take work and not many are willing to do the work.

Do I care about my exes? Sure, I do! When I do hear from them and things are good I am happy for them. That doesn't mean I want them in my everyday life. They are on their journey and I am on mine. I don't have a need to have people from my past in my everyday life. I move on. Like Selly said, to some it's 'vicious', to me it's being emotionally healthy and moving on, We are exes for a reason and I like to cut all ties. I also feel having exes too present and upfront in one's life can cause problems for a new relationship. If you have not moved on from the last one, chances are you are not ready for the new one.

Now if you have kids together that's different, you have to maintain a relationship, but if not, cut the emotional tie and move on, IMO.

Also like someone mentioned, it depends on how it ended.

12-08-2011, 07:14 AM	#36
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,832 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	I feel it depends on how you define friend. I have a real issue with the way it is used nowadays. I feel the word friend carries very little meaning in todays world. People we don't even know on Facebook are Friends..People we have never met online are Friends... it never has resonated with me. There are very few people in the world I would consider a friend. To me a friend is someone that we could call each other in the middle of the night and we'd be there. Someone that I communicate with ongoing in daily life. Someone who actually cares about how I am doing, and me them. I have many, many acquaintances, but friends, no. I am also very selective about those I bring close to me, my choice. Someone who not only calls me when they are down and out, but when they want to share their joy too. Friendships take work and not many are willing to do the work. Do I care about my exes? Sure, I do! When I do hear from them and things are good I am happy for them. That doesn't mean I want them in my everyday life. They are on their journey and I am on mine. I don't have a need to have people from my past in my everyday life. I move on. Like Selly said, to some it's 'vicious', to me it's being emotionally healthy and moving on, We are exes for a reason and I like to cut all ties. I also feel having exes too present and upfront in one's life can cause problems for a new relationship. If you have not moved on from the last one, chances are you are not ready for the new one. Now if you have kids together that's different, you have to maintain a relationship, but if not, cut the emotional tie and move on, IMO. Also like someone mentioned, it depends on how it ended.