Hyper-vigilance downshifted my adrenals considerably (I'm on hydrocortisone at the moment among other things), but I'm quite sure it saved my ass too. I worked with a really smart, savvy body-centered psychotherapist in recent years who educated me on the brain shift and, most importantly, how to recenter and reshift out of residence in the primal, fear-based center. When you realize you don't have to some part of your guard up at all times and keep awake even while sleeping, it's quite a fine thing.
And speaking of awake, I can only hope the consciousness will continue to grow about how a primordial abuse sets in motion a lifetime of "stuff."
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Originally Posted by Miss Tick
I could have told them that. Hypervigilant was always added to anything any shrink ever had to say about me. I will tell you though this hyper- vigilance saved my ass more than once. It is so fine tuned I’ve managed to duck before there was any sign something was heading my way. I remember walking out of a bar and even though I never saw anyone I just felt something coming at me; I just knew it somehow and moved just enough that the person just grazed my face. The people I walked out with weren’t as lucky. I guess they weren’t from abusive and violent homes. Who says good stuff doesn’t come from bad.
The good news is I don't have any mental health problems or anxiety issues, at least none I'm aware of. However, addictive behavior is another story. I can pretty much get addicted to anything. I try to focus this in directions that can help me. Like work, exercise, projects around the house, stuff like that. I can be relentless. I never quit.
I get that growing up in abusive and violent homes are not ideal situations. Really it doesn't take Einstein to figure that out. Of course there will be long term effects.
Knowing that always left me feeling there is something wrong with me. And I felt guilty or ashamed and I never understood exactly why. i remember a job I had working at a home for abused kids. The director and I were looking through applications from DYS and he said this one is out because there's too much physical abuse. We won't be able to work with this kid. I remember getting a sick feeling in my stomach and I only tried half-heartedly to talk him out of his opinion. I felt too ashamed to talk about my personal experiences. Like I was defective and just a throw away. You know i'm not sure where I'm going with this LOL. I guess nowhere really. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Reading the article just brought shit up for me. Thanks for posting the article though
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