* If I am talking to someone and they have a blackhead or whitehead on their face, I can do nothing but stare at it the entire time we are talking.
* When we go to Walmart I just fart wherever I want to without discrimination.
* Left shoe always has to go on first.
* If someone licks their finger to separate paper and then hands me one, I always check out the spitty fingerprint and then gag a little before I tear that corner off.
* I once found a hair growing out of my shoulder that was almost an inch long. My totem animal is "werewolf".