[Cin]

Originally Posted by Passionaria

No Butch will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum - "My God, the floor's immaculate. Lie down, you hot bitch."

Well, maybe cleaning won’t do it for butches, but, speaking for this butch, grammar queens make me wet.

I love a woman who can handle an apostrophe. One who can wander unafraid into the grammar fray, tossing commas where they belong and semi-colons where they are needed, striking down those dangling modifiers and indefinite articles in the process. She will settle all subject-verb disagreements. She is always on guard when confronted with long winding writing. She gets the dangers of mismatching modifiers or tenses in complex sentences where adverbs and adjectives abound. Untangling what modifies what, as well as whom, when, and where is no problem at all.

I’m a long winding writer from way back. That’s probably why I married an editor. Well, there are infinitely more reasons why I married this particular editor, but it was certainly a part of the attraction. Proper syntax is just hot.

She doesn’t just edit for money or for pleasure. She edits because she cannot NOT edit. She edits as she breathes, effortlessly, naturally, habitually. Editing is like religion. She believes in it. It is for her, both an absolute necessity and an enjoyable romp.

She will wink at gerunds. But understands where to draw the line. The following sentence is a good example. Licking her clit, I plunged my tongue deeply inside. If confronted with this sentence, regardless of the circumstances, my wife would feel compelled to explain that unfortunately this cannot happen unless one possesses two tongues. You cannot lick someone’s clit at the same time as you insert your tongue into her vagina. It saddens me to say this, but it can’t be done. However, to be loved by someone who can find, explain, and correct these kinds of grammatical errors is for me both miraculous and incredibly hot. I think I’ll go find my wife now so we can practice our syntax. Perhaps I’ll dangle a few particles to get her attention.

Oh, just for the record, and to my obvious detriment, my wife does not edit my posts.