[Tawse]

She led me down a hallway away from the main club down a series of passageways and finally to a door.

“The next step is yours to make. If you need this as bad as I think you do, you will open this door and enter. If you don’t think you can do it. Turn and walk away. I can take you where you long to go, but only if you allow me to.”

I looked at Her. She was a vision of pure domination. Yet I also saw within Her some doubt. Doubt about whether I could do this. And I wondered why it would matter to Her. Surely She could get most anybody in the bar to join Her back here. To be Her submissive, to be the canvas for Her sadistic talents.

“There is much I can’t explain to you now, and it wouldn’t matter anyway. Just understand that...” Her voice quivered momentarily. “… that I have been waiting for you for a very long time.” She apparently could read minds as well.

I turned and looked at the door. Behind it there was no turning back. Behind it was everything I dreamed about. After passing through that threshold there would be no fantasies, knowledge would exist. No more illusions, only a reality of what submission really feels like.

I wiped the sweat from my hands and reached for the doorknob. It felt cold in my grasp. I choked down the urge to turn and run, instead turning the doorknob. I pushed the door open and without even turning on the light, stepped into the dark room.

She turned on the lights as She entered the room behind me. A soft yellow glow lit the room and afforded me the opportunity to see what I had just gotten myself into. Along one wall, several whips, slappers, crops, paddles and tawse hung neatly from wooden pegs. This was my first time seeing many of these items in person. I had seen pictures in books, but the pictures didn’t give the real things any justice at all. One of the other walls contained a leather couch and recliner. They seemed strangely out of place in this room designed around an absence of comfort. The last wall was lined with different positioning objects. A rack, wooden horse, a bondage chair and a few other items I didn’t recognize. I took several minutes standing in the center of the room just staring at the objects. Her voice brought me back.

“Go ahead and touch the floggers. Feel the leather, feel how soft the tails are. Tell me which one you like the most.” She said and sat down on the couch. I followed Her decent, amazed at how graceful She was even while sitting down. The leather of the couch seemed to sigh with relief at the feel of Her body against it.

I approached the wall lined with implements of pain rather cautiously. My heart was pounding as if it wanted to burst from my body and escape to safety. My eyes raced over all the floggers, entranced by the many colors and designs. I allowed my fingers to brush past many of the tails, feeling the differences in the many leathers. They finally came to rest on a blue flogger. It had to have at least twenty tails, all a misty blue, and the softness of an expensive pair of winter gloves. The handle was made of a dark wood, a stark contrast to the pastel tails that rained down from inside its base. I carefully lifted it up from its peg and brought it down in my hands, fondling the fine tails between my fingers.

“Very nice selection, I bought that one in Europe. Amsterdam I do believe, so very long ago.” She broke my silent worship. “Present it to me.”

I was puzzled at first. How does one present something that is already known? My mind raced, trying to remember everything I had ever read in books. Positions. This had to be about a position She was expecting me to execute.

“Forget what you’ve read. Do what you feel deep within yourself. You didn’t get the need from a book; you just gave the need a name. You have all the answers you need within your own desire to please me.”

I thought about what She said for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a few minutes, then I slowly approached Her, kneeling to one knee when just a foot away. I lowered my head and offered the flogger on outstretched arms. I heard the leather of the couch moan as She leaned forward. With one hand She raked Her fingernails through my hair, the other hand softly lifted the flogger from my arms.

“Very good. I’m proud of you.” She whispered.

Said by anyone else, this would have caused me to feel I was being patronized, but coming from her it caused a crimson blush to cross my cheeks.

“Thank you Ma’am” I replied.

“No. Ma’am just won’t due. No offense to you, but it makes me feel entirely too old. From now on, when addressing me, I would prefer you to call me Lilitu.”

“Lilitu” I said the name out loud, appreciating its exotic sound. It seemed strangely appropriate for her; it fit her mysterious looks.

She laid the flogger lightly on the couch, and cupped my chin with one hand bringing my face up so that I was looking into her eyes. It was the first time I’d noticed her eyes, which was unusual because eyes were usually one of the first things I noticed. They were hazel. Brown and green flecks danced within her irises. Her pupils had an incredible depth. They say the eyes were the gates to a person’s soul, and if this was true Lilitu had an endless soul.

She wrapped her other hand in my hair and pulled my head back. I gasped out loud and her mouth covered mine in a deep passionate kiss. Her tongue danced in my mouth. My heart beat increased, and I kissed her back, driven by a sudden hormonal surge. I pushed into her, wanting to kiss her deeper and deeper. Her hand tightened in my hair and pulled me back, away from her sweet kiss.

“Let’s not get too carried away. We are here for more then just kissing.” She said rising up from the couch, leaving me wanting and on the floor. She went to the center of the room and stopped. “Come to me, on your hands and knees. When you get here, I would like it if you kissed my shoes.”

She had barely finished the request and I was on my way over to her. All fear seemed to have been erased. I didn’t feel the slightest bit self-conscious. All I knew was a desire to please her; desire to feel what I had been denying myself for so long. A desire to be finally be free. I arrived at her feet and lowered my head, gently kissing each shoe once, making sure not to leave any moisture behind.

“Very nice, I felt the sincerity behind your actions; that pleases me.” She said and leaned over; I felt her nails along my skin as she slowly ran her hand the length of my back. I wished I had no shirt on, that I could have felt her against my bare flesh. “If that’s what you wish, then you must remove your shirt.” She once again answered an unspoken thought.

I looked up at her, questioning, and curious. “Who are you? And how do you know my thoughts?” I asked.

“I promise to reveal the answers to those questions to you, but I would much rather concentrate on your desires right now; if that is acceptable to you.” She responded and moved away from me, towards the wall of pain. “I know I am asking a lot of you. I know that you’re scared and excited at the same time. I won’t blame you if you leave, but there are some things I can’t reveal just yet, no matter how much I want you to stay, I just can’t tell you.” She finished and ran her hands along the line of toys on the wall, finally letting her hands come to rest on a foxtail paddle. She lifted it from its resting spot and turned to look at me.

I rose up so that I was kneeling on my knees, and I looked into her eyes. My arms dropped to my sides and slowly started to tug on my shirt, pulling it out from my jeans, and pulling it slowly over my head. I pulled my arms free of the shirt and tossed it gently to the side. “I don’t know why, but I do trust you. Or maybe I just need this too much to not trust you.” I answered her, and then removed my bra, and tossed it in the direction of the shirt, and looked into her eyes once again.

Her gaze dropped momentarily to my breasts and a smile crossed her face, “Thank you.” was all she said. She then approached me, foxtail in hand, and ran it over my breasts, then over my shoulders and onto my back. I closed my eyes and let my body float with the sensation of the soft fur gliding over my skin. She brought my eyes open again when I felt the slight sting of the blue flogger as it kissed my back lightly. “Pleasure and Pain, the two Sisters. Born of each other, you can’t fully experience one without the other.” She said aloud, and I understood exactly what she was saying. I had dreamed it for so long, and was finally living it, even if just a flirtation. I then felt the kiss of the flogger nine more times, increasing in intensity each time. I gasped out loud at the last kiss, feeling the true potential for Sister Pain; than the foxtail was back on my skin, caressing the pain away.

She knelt down behind me, and I felt her warm, inviting lips on my back, kissing where the foxtail and flogger had just moments ago danced to separate songs on my skin. I leaned back into her, and she wrapped her arms around me, both hands coming to land on my nipples. I shuddered at the touch of her bare fingers against my nipples, not surprised to find that they were taut and stretching out towards her. She grasped my nipples between her thumbs and forefingers, and delivered a sharp twist. I bit down on my lower lip, not wanting to cry out, not wanting her to think that I didn’t enjoy the pain, the pleasure, the melding of the two. She cocked my head to the side and bit gently at the hollow of my neck, a moan escaped my throat.