LDR first date. You finally get to meet this wonderful gorgeous, femme woman you've been talking to over long distance for months. She cooks a terrific meal ... steak, baked potatos, salad - all the good stuff. After dinner, you both go into her living room and stretch out on her two long sofas - your heads are close. You talk, talk and laugh so much. I was having the best time ever. We were both laughing so hard out of control ... and then ... I farted ... loudly. That made me laugh even harder. I finally got enough breath to say, "I farted." It took her a minute or two to get enough wind in between hysterical laughter to say, "I know." And we both continued laughing - the kind where my stomach was hurting and I still was unable to stop.
Later, there was discussion about me needing to have a tshirt with this printed on the front: I fart on the first date.
