[*Anya*]

Was afraid to weigh myself this morning after having gained a pound yesterday.

I should really talk about that because I am sure I am not the only one.

The scale and I have never, ever been friends. It really does not matter if it has said 110 or way more than that- I always felt heartsick that it was not less.

I do not mentally punish myself for small variations now, as long as it heads in the direction that I want it to go but that internal, initial fear of stepping on the scale is always there.

I have to pep talk myself into it every time: "You know you have been doing well, it will be ok" or even, "ok, so you had extra 1/2 and 1/2 in your coffee-that is only about 40 cals, you didn't gain because of that".

I wish I could just get on it without the mental tape rewind but I can't and may never but at least every day, I strip to my skin, no denial here, and step on that scale. It keeps me honest and keeps me focused.

Btw, I did lose that damn pound from yesterday.