[clay]

woof...woof....hey there Bob...my name is Heidi...I am a red dapple dachshund, who is an Alpha Female!!! I am a horizontal critter...running from one end to the other....lol...I OWN my vertical person...and I sometimes just let her think she is the boss of this here casa!
Anyway, I LOVE this thread...and going to subscribe....and wanted to introduce myself to you. I LOVE toys with squeakers..and I sometimes tear mine up...and those toys with the cotton batting inside...whooohoo I MAKE my own snow..my vertical person doesn't like it very much when I do so...but hey..that is what I have her here for....to suit my needs.
Tennis balls..oh man...do I EVER love those! I can go through a sleeve a day if my vertical person allows it. Since I have no opposable thumbs, I AM dependent on vertical one to open the sleeve for me..and dole them out....like they are a dang ingot of gold or something...doesn't she know I am BORED...I HAVE to have something to entertain myself..she has her darn laptop and the Planet. Little does she know, I sneak on when she gets horizontal....woof woof...maybe I will run up on you in here sometime..and we can create some horizontal havoc. Hey I see there are some cats crushing on you...aren't those fun to chase??...lol...<weg>..and the treasures I can find in their "litter box"...do you like to get into those? I can go from zero to 60 MPH in 2.1 seconds..I am a "low ryder" ...slung low to the ground..so I have excellent traction on all fours..and my gears..well I can shift to high gear rather quickly!
I love to get Milk Bones...and that is ANOTHER thing my vertical person does...doles those out...like I have to go out and pee or poop to get one. My vertical person also makes me do this dumb old trick..she asks..."are you a gamecock or a dead dog" of course, since I HATE those Chickens (USC Gamecocks) and am a Clemson Tiger Fan..I do as she says..I flop on my side..and lie perfectly still..and fools her EVERY time..she claps her hand and says "good girl" and I get ONE measley cookie. One would think for a feat of that magnificance I would get a chewy or TWO bones..BUT no..one stinkin' cookie...woof woof.
Ok pleasure to meet you, Bob...Heidi out...have a wicked good time eating pizza "bones"...aren't our vertical people nuts...crusts DO NOT a bone make...lol..and they say a dog is dumb...uh huh...later dude....