Dear Penguin:
I haven't written in a while, and it has been an interesting couple of weeks for us. So I am going to backtrack a bit and then we will get current. :-)
You are so busy with school right now, and I have never been more proud of someone I know. You work your ass off and it amazes me because I am sure I would have lost my mind studying that much. This doesn't leave much time for us, but I know it will be better for our future. You will fulfill your dreams as will I. It is tough for us now, but it will be so worth it in the future.
We had a bit of a rough patch there for a couple of days. I know that you and I thought about breaking up. I am so thankful we didn't. Text messaging isn't the best avenue to have serious discussions. You cannot hear voice inflection or tone or read body language. This makes it incredibly difficult to respond to situations. I really have come to dislike texting as a form of communication for important stuff. Though, I will say, it has allowed us to talk when we didn't have time for a phone call. (I miss your voice though.)
You are right, there are many things in this world I do not know. I can empathize, but I don't know that perspective. My heart can go out to you or a person when dealing with things, but you are right, I don't truly know that experience.
Penguin, we haven't talked much lately and I have wanted to share what is going on with me. My Health Care is taking forever to go through, so The Emily Program refuses to see me right now, until my insurance goes through. I am frustrated with that. I am on the phone with them all the time to figure out how to best fix this. Public Health Care really does need a change. :-/ My therapist up and left my church. I found out a couple of days ago, after reading her facebook. I felt extremely betrayed. I am in contact with her boss at my church to see if I can get in to see someone else for free. My E.D. has decided to be a little bit of a pest this week, but I can safely say I have fought back with a vengeance. I reach out for support, talk, and bitch slap my E.D. back down. Also, I have gained 10lbs. Yay for small victories. Work is kicking my ass, but in a totally good way. I love cocktail waitressing, however weird that seems. Quitting Caribou was the best damn decision I could make. My body just cannot take 60 hour work weeks on my feet. I am thinking about getting some shoe inserts. There is, also, less drama in my life right now. I love it. :-)
A lot of things are going through my heart right now. Penguin, you have to know how much I love you. There isn't a day that goes by that my mind doesn't go to you. I wonder what you are doing, what you are thinking, and if school is going okay. I so desperately want to look you in the eye right now and confess how my heart longs for you. How the love inside me is the most powerful thing I have ever felt. The desire for you and your love consumes me at times, when I let it. You are, by far, the most amazing woman I have ever met and I am so thankful to be part of your life. I am so thankful to be your love. I want to kiss you so badly. I want to be in your arms and hear your voice. I want to tremble at your touch. I want to see the way you look at me. Your eyes on me makes me melt. You see right though anything. I want to look into your eyes, mine meeting yours, and confess everything. I want to tell you how your love is the most precious thing that I have ever encountered. How I have never wanted someone so badly in my life. How I would be willing to endure anything, no matter how difficult, because I know in the end it would be worth it for you. How I want to share every secret shame and joy with you. There is so much love and passion between us. A blind man could see how we glow and how we look at one another. You have the ability to love me like no one could ever love me and you can break me like no one could ever break me. I trust you and I enjoy allowing you so close to my heart.
I imaging how it will be when I see you at the airport. You better not have anything in your hands, because I am going to jump into your arms and kiss you like you have never been kissed before. That is a promise.
I love you so much Penguin.
-Sheep
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