[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

Well, I would. I've certainly had to struggle as a consequence of being a lesbian. Yes, I've been discriminated against. Yes, I was very confused at first, but I thank the Goddess on nearly a daily basis that I was born a lesbian.

The biggest reason I would choose to be gay if given the option, is that I don't have to seek partnership from among the available stock of heterosexual men. I'm sure there are plenty of nice straight men. Somewhere. I do know a few, but most of the straight men I work with and meet on a daily basis act like... men. I'm often astonished and baffled by their behaviours. They don't make sense to me, and I sometimes need a translator to explain their motives. Really. Plus, for the last 49 and 1/2 years I've been fighting off threatening, unwanted sexual attention from them. So much so that I've come to expect straight men to act like jerks, and I'm relieved when they don't. I don't hate them, I just expect certain levels of behaviour from them, and they mostly fulfill my expectations.

Why else would I choose to be gay? Because in my protected corner of the world in an artist's community in NYC, I have friends and associations with other gay people who are SUPER cool, that I would otherwise never have made, because we're all members of 'the club'. My extraordinary life would have been a lot more pedestrian had I been just another straight person.

Finally, I'm sooooo relieved that I don't have to worry about being feminine enough to catch a man. I ride and fix motorcycles, and my work as a sculptor is very dirty and physical. I may doubt myself at times, but I have never had a butch woman tell me that they're anything but impressed. Straight men are mostly frightened by a woman like me, which works really well for me as a lesbian, but that would really bum me out if I were interested in them romantically.

YES, I would choose to be a lesbian, and I know quite a few straight women who wish they could make that choice for themselves.