well, this is a really sensitive topic. I have been having a D/s relationship with a male. His name is Christopher. Christopher has his own apartment. Well, he did until recently. He moved in with me to tend to me while I recovered from my shoulder surgery. While I loved him dearly, I would not commit to being in love with him because I had been hurt one too many times. I wanted a tender D/s relationship and that was all. We negotiated the terms and found what suited us both and agreed upon it.
but while he was tending to me this time, something softened inside me. He had helped me during my stumach surgery as well, but he wasnt living with me. I think because he was here around the clock and because we had developed such an intense D/s relationship, which you know is founded in trust, I felt myself release....
part of me is very puzzled because he is a genetic male. But he is also a budding MtF. He charms me like no one ever has, in a feminine way. Which then compounds the puzzlement. And in the mist of this puzzlement, I have admitted to myself, I am falling in love. Well no, I Am in love. Not what I ever expected but hey....
I still consider myself a lesbian. Many will not consider me as such. And many will not approve of me falling for a man. But, I dated FtMs. I as a lesbian when I dated them. I was a lesbian before I ever had a relationship with a female. In my core, I am a lesbian. I just happened to have fallen in love with a man. A man who is a budding MtF...a damn femme MtF too. Everything about me has turned upside down and inside out. Funny thing tho, if you do that to a pair of pants, they are still a pair of pants. They dont become a shirt. So i am still a lesbian no matter how I turn me.
so...this is what is on my mind. I softened. I am in love. I probably will marry him. We are both poorer than church mice but its better to be poor together than to be on your own and feel vulnerable and anxious on your own...
this too is what I meant when i said my life changed for the better when I turned 55, in a different thread. I have always cared deeply for him but its official now and I can share it with you...I am in love and i am going to get married....but, not in any hurry to do that. Probably not for a few years. Maybe 5. I tend to have cold feet....thats no surprise now is it?
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