[Amber2010]

My mother and I have always had a very bad relationship. Since teenage years but I would try and try to get along and keep the family together by having all the get togethers at my house or being the one to say I'm sorry when I did nothing wrong. In my 40's I realized this is not the person I want in my life. I was tired of all the negative and having to be the one to work things out. We had one last fight over something so small and instead of running back I decided to see how important I am to her. It as been 5 years now and she has never even tried even though she lives five mintes away and has my cell and home phone numbers. I realize at this point of my life that not everyone is meant to be a mom or can be. I did see her at both my brothers insistence at Christmas but there just is no feelings there anymore. It was like meeting an old aquaintance again. It will always hurt to realize how very little I mean but It has freed me from trying to be someone I'm not.