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Old 02-23-2012, 03:55 PM   #1141
Daktari
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Day 24 9.55pm

Feeling even more crap. Resentment and anger building. Palpitations. Addiction monster being fed by negative emotions. Judged and judging. Feeling like I've just found another place I don't fit into the ready-prepared little box they have for me.

In reality, I know I'm having a bad couple of days and that this too shall pass. It's the first really bad head-space since the day I started detox meds. I have a NA member from tonight's meeting phoning me later. I shared one-to-one what I'd said last night and most of what I was feeling.

Someone posted in one of the threads I saw this morning that when life throws you limes make margaritas. I wish but I won't. Oddly this sort of crap doesn't make me want to drink because I know it won't make it better, infact it would make it a whole lot worse. Relief would be temporary.

So, you have my sick thinking stream of consciousness. Take it how you will.

My name is Scooby and I'm an alcoholic. For today I'm relieved, over-joyed and so very grateful to be sober despite myself.

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